"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,
Nor shall the flame scorch you." - Isaiah 43:2
Sometimes it it is absolutely necessary to look back from the past to see how you have been crazy kept and protected and defended. From one of those particular instances, I learned the concept of providence--God's divine protection and care. I share this story often for many reasons: it is by far, my personal testimony and my story to tell that gives God some serious glory and holds the potential to educate others on the mistake I made--and how that could have cost me my life.
January 10, 2003 started out as any ordinary wintry day should have--it was my second semester back as a junior at UNO, and I had a packed schedule of MWF classes. I struggled to get out of the door on time because I felt sluggish and had a nagging headache--admittedly akin to a hangover, but I'd had nothing to drink. I bundled up and headed out to my 8am class, determined to shake it off. But I couldn't. And I didn't. By 11 am, I was disoriented, tired, could barely open my eyes or get my body to obey simple commands--and I had a headache that couldn't be compared to anything I'd ever experienced before--and haven't again to this day. I left my last class and managed to make it to a bench in the quad, where I stretched out and called my dad, my true lifesaver and angel, who happened to still be in the city that day. I told him that I was in pain and having trouble walking, and that I might have the flu or something. He said he was on his way, and would meet me at the dorm. It took me 30 minutes to get off of that bench and make it there--and he took one look at me and said, "you're going to the emergency room."
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| Spinal taps are one of the definitive ways to confirm a meningitis diagnosis! |
Things transpired quickly after we arrived at the hospital. There was a flurry of activity--temperature readings, blood pressure--and after we realized my temp was 104 degrees, a new focus emerged. I kept trying to convince the doctor that I was fine, really--and he asked me to touch my chin to my chest. I couldn't do it without extreme pain and my knees and legs involuntarily wobbling, too (called the Brudzinski's sign).
That's when we knew something might be wrong. I got whisked away for CT scans, spinal taps, and blood work.
My dad sat in the room with me, trying to talk to me and keep me calm and distracted. The doctor came in, looked at both of us and said,
"I'm going to give you what we know. Your CT shows swelling of your meninges, your ear drum is highly inflamed and could rupture, you have an extremely high fever, and you exhibit the Brudzinki's sign--we think you may have meningitis."
"Meningitis? Don't people die from that?"
"We're going to do everything we can."
And that folks, is how your life can be severely altered or redirected in a matter of hours.
Did I have bacterial meningitis? Yes. Am I extremely lucky? Yes. You see, I got to the hospital very early. In 1 out 5 cases, a person infected with bacterial meningitis will die--and of those who survive, 1 out of 4 will suffer from permanent disabilities such as amputation, severe scarring, brain damage,and hearing loss. Was I covered? ABSOLUTELY.
Although my battle with meningitis didn't end there--the hospital stay, the havoc wreaked on your body from of loads of antibiotics 24 hrs a day for weeks, and the physical strain a disease like that puts on your immune system, your organs, and your strength--I was absolutely covered by the amazing protection and mercy that God provides. I had already made the not so smart decision to not get vaccinated when I entered college. No one actually ever got meningitis, right? I could have also made the fateful decision to sleep in, or go back to the dorm and take an Advil, but I didn't.
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| Absolutely! |
God's second chance for me opened doors in places that I didn't see coming--but I knew that I had an obligation to step through based upon where He'd brought me from. And oh what experiences I've had! The coolest thing is that when times get rough, nothing ever seems AS bad as days turning into weeks in the hospital and walking around with a live IV for a few weeks--everything has perspective--and I count it all joy, knowing what God brought me through during that time 11 years ago. It's why that scripture from Isaiah means so much to me. My trust in God increased in ways that I had never experienced before in my life. One of the most poignant memories I do have is of myself lying in the hospital bed, crying and terrified of getting multiple spinal taps--and my dad wasn't having it. He looked me squarely in my face and said, "Where is your faith??" And he was right. Sometimes, when we are in our lowest moments in our darkest hours, we allow our situations to light a hot fire under our faith and it takes off in the opposite direction when these are the moments we need to reach way down and anchor ourselves to faith's tether strings.
So, use those moments in your life to cling to Him, and know that for starters, you are protected every step of the way. Even better, if you use those dark days in your life to glorify Him, he will change your life in unimaginable ways. He'll also equip you what you need in the future to get through the tough times in your life. And that's a very comforting thing to know! So join me in celebrating 11 years of post-meningitis awesomeness!
For more information on meningitis, I strongly encourage you to click the links below:
